


A Night To Remember

by the_technicolor_whiscash



Category: Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
Genre: Drunkenness, Hangover, Kissing, M/M, Marriage, Mentions of Sex, Pan-galactic Gargle Blasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 09:03:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12055698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_technicolor_whiscash/pseuds/the_technicolor_whiscash
Summary: Arthur Dent awakes with a splitting hangover and no memories of the previous night. Apparently, it was pretty eventful.





	A Night To Remember

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for these two ok

Arthur Dent awoke with a splitting headache. He felt as though he had been whacked several times upside the head with a brick, and afterwards his skull was filled with concrete and left to set. He wondered if it was possible that he had died, and had finally descended into hell. But then he noticed movement beside him, so he slowly opened his eyes. 

The figure sitting up beside him was Ford. But why Ford was laying beside him in bed, he had no idea. But he was too hungover to really contemplate what it meant, so he just grunted and pulled a pillow over his head. 

“Mmph.” Ford muttered from beside him. “I feel like someone’s used my head as a cricket ball.”

Arthur grunted again in reply. 

“Do you have any idea what happened last night? I've got no memory of the events after my fifth gargle blaster.”

Arthur mumbled something that sounded like “no.”

“Damn. I was hoping you might be able to provide some explanation as to what happened.” Ford laid back down. It was only then that Arthur noticed that the other man was shirtless. And had quite a nice body. Not quite muscular, but toned from the sheer amount of running life as a space traveler requires. 

And then Arthur realized that he himself wasn't wearing any pants. Or underwear. 

He immediately sat up. “Ford, what did we do last night?”

“I told you, I don’t remember.”

“Then why are we in bed together?”

Clearly the question hadn't even occurred to the other man. “Why, I have no idea. Hold on, are you naked too?”

Arthur nodded. The act of nodding did not help his headache, and he found himself instantly dizzy. But he had to get this situation figured out. “Ford, did we have sex last night?”

“It's a distinct possibility.” 

He laid back down on the pillows and sighed. If he was lucky, flashes of memory of the night before might return. But in all likelihood, that night would be lost to the universe. 

And then, Arthur realized something. He was wearing a gold ring on his left hand. He looked, and saw that Ford was wearing one too. “Ford… did we get married?”

Ford’s eyes widened. He examined the ring on his own finger, delicately twisting the gold hand. His voice got quiet. “It appears so.”

\-------------

Arthur and Ford won't remember the events of last night, but as the author, I will tell you exactly what happened. 

It started when Zaphod pulled out the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters. After one, any rational being would be hammered. But Ford had seven, and Arthur had five. So it's no wonder both of them didn't remember anything. It's a wonder they even survived. 

After they were thoroughly smashed, they had a heart to heart conversation, the type that can only come from two people who are beyond drunk. It went something along the lines of:

“Ford?”

“Yeah, Arthur?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“Sure.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“No, like, I seriously love you.”

“I seriously love you too.”

“Fantastic.”

“You know what we should do?”

“What should we do?”

“Let's get married.”

“Ford, that’s the best idea I've heard in weeks. Where do we go to do that?”

“I think Zaphod’s an ordained minister.”

“Does it still count if both us and the minister are drunk beyond all comprehension?”

“I would assume so.”

“Excellent. Let's go find him.”

After that, they did, in fact, get married, and did, in fact, have sex. How and where they got the rings is a mystery. And that is what brings us to the morning after, where both of them are massively hungover, and carry no memory of the night before.

\--------------

“Why did we do it? Why did we get married?” Arthur wondered out loud. 

“I assume it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“This isn't how I wanted to get married. I… this wasn’t supposed to happen.” 

“Is it because of me?”

Arthur frowned. “What?”

“Do you regret that you got married to me, and not someone else?” 

“No, no, of course not! In fact, I’m quite glad it was you. I just wish I could remember my own wedding night.”

A look of relief spread across Ford’s face. “Oh. Good. I’m glad it was you, too.”

Suddenly, the door to their room burst open, revealing Zaphod in all of his two-headed glory. “Did I marry you two last night?”

Arthur took his pillow, put it over his head, and screamed into it. 

Ford nodded. “Yes, as a matter of fact, you did.”

Zaphod scratched one of his chins with his left arm. “Damn. Unfortunately I can't officiate a shotgun divorce.”

“Eh. We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.” 

“Right. Well, I’m painfully hungover, so I'm gonna go throw up in a wastebasket and go back to bed. Later, lovebirds.” 

Zaphod sauntered out, leaving Ford and Arthur alone once more. Ford sat up and rubbed his eyes, but Arthur didn't remove the pillow from his face. 

“I’m gonna shower.” Ford muttered. “Afterwards we can talk about what we’re going to do about all this.”

“Do we have to? I think my brain was replaced by a chunk of concrete.” 

“I know. I feel like I've been run over by a truck.”

Ford began to slide out of bed, but Arthur reached out and grabbed his hand. “Wait, Ford. We should do this now, instead of putting it off.”

Ford looked between their entwined hands and Arthur’s eyes. He seemed to contemplate pulling away, but decided against it. “Alright. So I guess… I guess we’ll have to find someplace to get a divorce and what have you…”

“If… if you want, then yeah.”

“I mean, is that what you want?”

“I… well, it is a lot of paperwork, and it would take a while.”

“Right. Paperwork. Of course.” 

“So maybe we should just… put it off for now.”

“Yes. That does sound like the best option. Staying married.” 

“Exactly. Plus, there's benefits. Tax write-offs and such.”

Ford smiled, and Arthur felt a tingling emotion roll through him. “If I had to pick anyone to be thrust into marriage with, I really am glad it was you.”

“Are you saying you have feelings for me, Mr Prefect?” 

“Maybe I am. Do you… you know… have feelings for me too?”

Arthur sat up and put his arms around Ford, pulling them close together. “I love you, Ford Prefect.” 

Ford pressed kisses along Arthur’s collarbone until he reached his neck, where instead of kissing he bit down lightly, evicting a moan from Arthur. “And I love you, Arthur Dent.”

Arthur cupped Ford’s face in his hand, rubbing a thumb along his husband’s cheekbone. “So who’s going to take who’s last name?”

“Perhaps we could do a hyphenated sort of thing. ‘Prefect-Dent?’ Or ‘Dent-Prefect?’”

“Prefect-Dent. Rolls off the tongue better.”

“Quite.” Ford leaned in beside Arthur’s ear and broke into a whisper. “I’d like to see what that tongue of yours can do.”

“Mmm.” Arthur buried his nose into Ford’s hair. “I’m sure you would.” 

“After I take a shower.” Ford smiled mischievously as he slid off the bed and stood up. 

“Do I have to wait?” Arthur whined. 

“I never said I was going to shower alone.”

**Author's Note:**

> I like to write the before and after smut stuff because I stink at writing the smut itself and I love kissing


End file.
